breathe

I was reading this forum on abortion, that baby center emailed me.
I don't know why they would send me something like that...
But they did.
And I read it.
And there were soo many girls whos boyfriend drove them to abort.
Who was so selfish, and who only thought about themselves
Rather than thinking about giving life to something they've started.
If anything they were at fault for doing what they did.
And took it out on an unborn child.
Abortion is selfish.
Adoption is selfless.
Atleast you're still giving your child life.

I remember when I was thinking about aborting.
Not Emily, but my first one.
I was so scared. I didn't know how I was gonna do it.
And I didn't know how to tell my family.
But I realized... im gonna abort this child cos I was afraid.?
Cos I didn't wanna tell anyone.?
It was all cos of me.
I was trying to save myself rather than save my baby.
Im so glad I didn't do it.
I feel guilty enough for even thinking about it.
I mustered up the strength to tell everyone.
And some were disappointed and others we're happy.
I told myself regardless of what other people said,
Im having my baby.

5 months went by and I lost it.
It was the worst pain I've ever felt in my entire life.
But I don't think it would've been worse than willingly taking its life
away.

Im so glad I have Emily.
She is the best thing that's happened to me.
To my life.
We weren't ready of course.
We weren't even ready the first time.
But I never once thought about losing her just cos we weren't ready.
Or cos we were scared.
She deserved life and the best life at that.
And we're working on giving that to her.
I don't think I would have ever felt this kind of love
If it weren't for her.
Its completely different from anything I've ever felt.
And to think that people give up on the opportunity to feel that love,
Its ridiculous.

I can't imagine my life without her.
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